This Girl Didn't Get Invited to the "Dance"

Kristen Marks

by Kristen Marks

Kristen Marks is a travel enthusiast, empty-nest mom to two young adult children, athlete, attorney, author, speaker, proud wife of almost three decades (to the same wonderful man!), and the founder of My Pink Lawyer®, Florida Estate & Legacy Planning attorneys. Kristen has been crafting professional estate plans for Floridians and their families for over 28 years.

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It's Rush week at the University of Alabama and my heart is both full and heavy for the girls going through the process.


I know it's an exciting time and the Rushees will meet lots of new friends during the process.


However, there's no getting around the fact that not every girl will receive a “bid” to join a sorority at the end of the week.


I was actually one of those girls who went through rush at my own college and did not receive a bid from the sorority that I wanted. Heck, I was even a legacy! Ouch.


Of course it all worked out in the wash and I ended up pledging another sorority that had not even been on my radar screen. I met amazing women and still count many of them as friends today. In fact, a few of us are currently planning a Girls Weekend for the Fall.


It's hard as a parent realizing that we cannot protect our children from their own heartache.


However, as a responsible parent, there is much we can, and should, do to prevent being the cause of such heartache ourselves for our children.


I am currently handling a guardianship for a minor child whose mom died unexpectedly. As an only child, he inherited all of his mother’s life insurance and retirement.


Unfortunately, the mother did not have any plans in place for her child’s inheritance. Her ex-husband became guardian over the funds and the child will receive his money when he turns eighteen soon.


I highly doubt the mom wanted her ex-husband to control the funds she left her son.


I also highly doubt the mom wanted her soon-to-be eighteen year old son to have unfettered access to over $100,000.


I just hope the child is responsible enough to handle the money and makes wise choices with its investment rather than blowing it on “toys” or even worse, drugs and alcohol.


Although we can’t protect our children from hurt feelings, we can absolutely protect them from themselves and others looking to take advantage of them with effective family succession planning.


Remember, the planning that we choose to do, or not do, is often not for us.

It’s for our loved ones who will have to live with the decisions we chose to make, or not make, for their benefit when we had the opportunity to do so.


To learn how NOT to make the same mistakes as the mom I just described, click here:

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