I awoke the morning of December 11th excited to be back in Mexico for the holidays. It was also my birthday which always makes me feel happy and special.
My Facebook feed was exploding with birthday wishes but one birthday well-wish was glaringly absent.
My husband left for the gym with nary an acknowledgment of my special day.
No biggie, I thought. I knew after being married almost 29 years that Andrew is usually a little late to the party on important occasions like this.
As newlyweds, my husband worked for the Public Defender’s Office. He was picking a jury on my birthday. After the clerk announced the date, Andrew’s opening remarks to the jury pool started like this.
“Hello. My name is Andrew Marks and I am representing ‘John Doe’ in today’s proceedings. I know many of you do not want to be here today. I understand completely. I just realized a few minutes ago that today is my wife’s birthday and I forgot to wish her a happy birthday this morning. This afternoon is not going to be pretty when I get home.”
When Andrew returned from the gym, we left to run errands and grab lunch.
Still nothing. Nada a happy birthday.
When we returned a few hours later, there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers awaiting me in our condo with a big sign that said “Feliz Cumpleanos.” I smiled, thinking that Andrew remembered after all.
My bubble was quickly burst when Andrew asked me who the flowers were from. My colleague, Amanda Lynch Elliott, had managed to have the bouquet delivered to me IN MEXICO!
I set the bouquet in a place of honor where Andrew would pass it every time he entered the kitchen. Nary a glance, he never read the card and never mentioned the flowers again.
That evening, we settled in to watch a Netflix movie starring Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd. There was a scene toward the end of the movie in which Reese declined an invitation by Paul for the following evening…
“I’m sorry, I can’t. My boyfriend is throwing me a belated birthday party,” said Reese.
“Can I come? By the way, when was your birthday?”
“It’s actually today,” Reese replied.
I held my breath waiting for it to dawn on Andrew what today was. Here’s what I got instead.
“I can see how that could happen,” Andrew quipped.
I turned to face him.
“You can?”
“Yes. I could totally see myself going all day forgetting that it was my birthday.”
So, there it is folks. My clueless husband in a nutshell.
And no, he never remembered my birthday that day. He only figured it out the following day when he was with a mutual friend who knew it was my birthday from Facebook.
Andrew is an equal opportunity holiday forgetter.
We were back in Mexico over Valentine’s day earlier this month. Zihuatanejo takes great pride in decorating the main malecon along the water for every holiday. This month, everything was decorated with hearts.
My husband, true to form, asked no one in particular what all the hearts were for. A guy our age walking behind us replied, “Are you serious, brother?”
When the guy passed us, Andrew asked me quietly when Valentine’s Day was.
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Don’t feel too bad for me about Andrew missing my birthday. With as much flack as he received, I promise he will NEVER miss another birthday. [The new life sized wall calendar marked with important dates in our kitchen won’t hurt either!] Stay tuned this December.
Kristen “Married 29 years to a Clueless, yet Still Loveable Man” Marks
