Feeling a bit verklempt this mother's day which is so unlike me

Kristen Marks

by Kristen Marks

Kristen Marks is an ultrarunner, newbie yogi, attorney, author, speaker, proud wife and mom to two college kids, and the founder of My Pink Lawyer®, Florida Estate & Legacy Planning attorneys. She has been crafting professional estate plans for Florida women and families for over 25 years, making things simple for their loved ones when they're gone and preparing their loved ones for the future.

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To my fellow moms, happy Mother’s Day, my friend.

 

I am feeling incredibly blessed this morning having spent a peaceful and nourishing quiet Saturday at home with my college daughter.

 

My “boys” (husband and son) were away doing their boys’ thing hunting and fishing so the house was unusually quiet which gave us “girls” ample unrushed time to just “hang” with one another and do our thing which looked like this on Saturday:

 

  • Sleep in (7am for me—woohoo!)
  • Practice a longer yoga session than usual
  • Practice a longer meditation session than usual
  • Sip my coffee and journal my thoughts
  • Jill awakes and cooks us breakfast burritos for breakfast
  • Together, we stocked up on groceries and supplies at BJ’s and Publix (I wish more folks would wear face masks!)
  • We each ate a late “fend for yourself” lunch
  • Another yoga session together (I learned the crow pose! See photo)
  • Jill finishes my slide presentation for a virtual talk I’m giving Tuesday evening while I read a book
  • We cook homemade pizzas
  • We settle in to watch our third nightly documentary in a row
  • Then, being 7:30pm, it was time for me to head towards bed to read (I know. I sound like an old woman!) while Jill went over to visit a friend (one of the preapproved people to visit on our family Covid-19 list).

 

I couldn’t have planned a more perfect day if I had tried.

 

I’m not a sentimental person and flowers and gifts on special days are not important to me. Give me my quiet time to reflect and spend quality, unrushed time with family and I’m a happy camper.

 

Mothers Day 2020Tonight when the boys come home, we’ll have dinner together as a family and maybe play another round of Texas Hold ‘Em, no doubt losing all of our money to our son. Maybe not your typical Mother’s Day agenda, but it’s OUR family agenda and that’s perfect for me.

 

 

 

Although I’m not a sentimental person as I said, I am feeling particularly verklempt as I write this and want to ensure that my family knows just how very much I love them, both now and when I’m gone which hopefully won’t be for a very long time from now but you never know.

 

[Sidenote: An acquaintance who is my age—50-- is on a ventilator in a hospital in Northern Virginia with Covid-19. He’s stable but his wife and three school-aged children are not allowed to visit him. How scary!]

 

It’s important to me given my line of work and seeing bad outcomes happen to good families when a loved one dies, to ensure that my family knows where all of our accounts and assets are located and how to access them.

I handle the finances in our household so bless him, my husband would be clueless. But Jill, she can handle things so long as I have everything documented and organized for her.

 

Most of our estate planning clients are given a binder to store their important papers and organize their financial account statements. I have one too but today is a good reminder to look through it and make sure everything is current. Then, I need to remind my family where it is stored in case something happens to me.

 

It may not sound very sentimental but I believe that leaving your affairs (and stuff!) tidy is one of the very best lasting and loving gifts you can leave your family. After all, wouldn’t you want them spending their time grieving and fondly reminiscing  your memory rather than tracking down your bank statements and passwords, titles, life insurance policies, and IRA information because your bills need to be paid?

 

I’ll hop off my soapbox now. I know I can get carried away sometimes …

 

But seriously, tell your family that you love them today. Remember that no matter what is going on in your world right now, “This is a wonderful day, I’ve never seen this one before.” Maya Angelou

 

Kristen “Feeling Verklempt on Mother’s Day” Marks

 

P.S. I’ve put together a new virtual presentation entitled “How to Effectively Plan Your Estate During a Pandemic Without Government Interference or Paying Exorbitant Legal Fees.” I’m debuting it this week as a guest speaker for a local homeowner’s association. Shoot me an email if you are part of a group looking for a guest speaker and you think this presentation would be of interest.

 

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