Anxiously checking my Phone While My Child is Away at College

Kristen Marks

by Kristen Marks

Kristen Marks is an ultrarunner, newbie yogi, attorney, author, speaker, proud wife and mom to two college kids, and the founder of My Pink Lawyer®, Florida Estate & Legacy Planning attorneys. She has been crafting professional estate plans for Florida women and families for over 25 years, making things simple for their loved ones when they're gone and preparing their loved ones for the future.

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 UA Parents Weekend 2017.jpgUniversity of Alabama Parents Weekend 2017 (Kristen, Jill & Andrew)

I checked my phone again.

It was Sunday night and not a peep from my darling peep in Tuscaloosa.

We hadn’t specifically said we would talk every Sunday night but all I’d heard from her following the first home game was a monosyllabic reply of “Great!” to my inquiry of “How was the game?”

Then I thought I’d try again Sunday afternoon with a sly “whatcha doing today?”

The response? “Library.”

[Her brother thinks that may be code for something more sinister but I tend to believe my daughter … at least for now!]

So, before turning in for the day, I checked my phone one last time.

No texts.

Tailgating on the Quad in Tuscaloosa

Fast forward to today. I’m headed to Tuscaloosa for Parent’s Weekend.

It’s been five weekends since I’ve seen Jill (but who’s counting, right?).

As I’m wishing she’d call or text, it hit me how selfish I’ve been myself by not staying in better touch with my own parents.

Sure, I’m busy and they know I love them, right?

But now that the shoe is on the other foot, I realize that nothing beats a regular call, visit, text and card.

I get it now that one of mine has flown the coop.

Your kids become a part of you—part of the very fabric of your identity and being.

When your kids are gone, it feels like they’ve taken a piece of you with them.

You crave to know what they are doing, what they are thinking, what and who is important in their life at this very moment.

They will develop relationships with people you don’t even know nor may ever meet.

You are no longer privy to their inner most thoughts.

You are no longer their confidante.

Will it be awkward when I see Jill today?

Will she even want to hang out with us this weekend? I know she’ll be busy with her friends, but too busy for her parents too?

We’ll soon find out.

Hey, daughter, don’t forget it’s not too late to change my Will, chicky-poo. Ha!

Kristen “Hoping for a Text” Marks

P.S. Since writing this blog post, I have had several great phone conversations (and of course a great visit) with my daughter. Of course I’m thrilled. Keep the calls and texts coming, my dear!

P.P.S. I had a fantastic meeting and interview with Rodney & Tiffany Daniels this week. You may remember hearing about their 25 year old daughter, Tiffany’s disappearance from Pensacola in 2013. She is still missing. The Daniels shared with me their story about why they wish they had Tiffany’s financial power of attorney. I will post the video soon. To be alerted when it posts, you can subscribe to our YouTube channel by clicking the icon below:

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