Most women spend far more time planning their wedding than they do planning their estate

Jessica Schultheis

by Jessica Schultheis

Jessica Schultheis is a former attorney with My Pink Lawyer®, now an Assistant State Attorney in Pensacola, Florida. Jessica graduated from the University of Florida for both her undergraduate studies and law school.


You might remember me mentioning the little fact that I’m engaged. Since then, I’ve had an outpouring of well-wishes. Thank you! I could use the support. Wedding planning is as stressful as it sounds.

Luckily, we have most of the big-ticket items knocked out. The venue is booked, and we have a caterer, florist, and photographer. Booking a venue was probably the hardest part. We wanted an option for guests to be inside or outside — and preferably something close to downtown with better hotel access. We were also hoping for a six-month engagement, but when we discovered most venues are booked a year out, we realized that was probably impossible.

I’m in my early 30s, so most of my friends are already married. They all say they would elope if they could do it over. We really considered it — we love San Diego and could easily picture ourselves flying out, having a quick ceremony, and honeymooning in our favorite city.

But when it came down to it, my fiance's grandparents are all still alive, and we agreed that they should be there — family and friends, too. Luckily, I still get to go to San Diego for my bachelorette party.

My friends are always dying to hear details about the wedding. Girls dream about their weddings all their lives — how it’s going to look, where it’s going to be, and every other little detail.

That’s all fine, but here’s the problem I’ve found: Most women spend far more time planning their wedding than they do planning their estate.

My friends are in their late 20s and early 30s, and none of them have an estate plan. Since I’ve become a My Pink Lawyer® attorney, I’m always asking them, “Do you have a will? You really should.” This is especially true if they have kids.

I’m not saying weddings aren’t a big deal — they are! But when you think about it, the wedding itself is just one day.

Even if your wedding day is the most special day of your life, an estate plan lasts a lot longer than that. Plus, putting a will together is easier and faster than a wedding. It just takes a good attorney (cough, cough) and a few appointments.

Maybe I’m sounding too practical, so I’ll offset it with this wedding story.

I never thought I would be “that girl” when it came to choosing a wedding dress. I’m not that picky when it comes to what I’m wearing. But one day, I was with my mom and trying on dresses. A few dresses in, I tried on one, and within seconds, my mom and I were both crying. I never thought I’d have that moment, but we both knew the dress was “the one.” 

In the end, what I’m looking forward to the most at my wedding (besides the beginning of a lifetime with my sweetheart) is having all the people I love in one place. His family is spread throughout the Midwest, and a lot of mine is from up north. Our dearest friends are dotted all around the country. They’re all coming, and that means the world to me.

Thank you again for the well-wishes, and have a lovely June!

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