Saying "Yes" to the Dress, "No" to the Stress

Valentine's Day this year holds a special significance for me, as it will be my first Valentine as a Fiancée. I got engaged to my wonderful partner Justin back in November. For weeks, I couldn’t help but flaunt my new bling as I basked in the afterglow of a magical proposal. When the holidays rolled around, aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas were eager to congratulate us on our milestone, but of course came the anticipated question for many brides-to-be: “When's the wedding?”

While the joy of this new chapter is undeniable, the reality of wedding planning quickly set in. As those who know me are aware, I'm a meticulous planner, always ensuring every detail is in order well in advance. I anticipated my wedding planning would be no exception. However, I soon discovered that the reality of wedding planning is a whirlwind of decisions. 

You need the venue, the music, chairs, tables, the cake! I learned you might need to hire your own bartender, and what about catering? Do you have an open bar or only bottle service? Is a winter wedding better than a summer one? Where is everyone going to stay? Do we invite the third cousins? What style of dress says “bridal”? Something blue? How many thousand dollars did he just say?! The list goes on and on! 

The initial excitement quickly faded as I realized the sheer scale of the planning. It was starting to feel more like a burden than an enjoyable experience. 

My fiancé noticed my apprehensiveness to commit to a plan, so we paused our planning to discuss what wasn’t working. I realized my concerns were mine alone, and that our wedding did not need to look like everyone else's. The thing about planning intimidating things, is that we tend to overthink and overcomplicate what we need. I realized the most important part of my wedding is my groom, and everything else would fall into place. We simplified our plan to meet our goals, and what was important to us. And in doing so, we felt joy and peace of mind in the process.

This experience has mirrored a familiar feeling: the anxiety that can arise when planning. Just as I found myself getting bogged down in the minutiae of wedding details, many people feel overwhelmed when it comes to estate planning.

• Overthinking the "Perfect" Plan: Just like with wedding planning, there's a tendency to overcomplicate estate planning. We strive for the "perfect" will, the most intricate trust, forgetting that the core purpose is to provide for loved ones.
• Fear of the Unknown: The legal jargon, the potential costs, and the sheer volume of information can be intimidating. This fear can lead to procrastination, leaving loved ones vulnerable.
• Focus on the "What-ifs": We often get caught up in hypothetical scenarios, worrying about unlikely events. This can distract us from the essential: ensuring our wishes are respected and our loved ones are protected.

Just as I learned to simplify my wedding planning by focusing on what truly matters (my partner), the key to successful estate planning lies in:

• Prioritizing your values: What are your most important goals? To provide for your children's education? To ensure your spouse's financial security?
• Seeking professional guidance: An estate planning attorney can help you navigate the complexities and create a plan that aligns with your unique circumstances.
• Regularly reviewing and updating: Life changes, and so should your estate plan. Schedule regular reviews to ensure it continues to reflect your wishes and protect your loved ones.

This Valentine’s Day let's remember that true love is not just about grand gestures but also about responsible planning for the future. Just as I'm learning to navigate the excitement and challenges of wedding planning, let's embrace the opportunity to plan for a secure future for ourselves and those we love.

- Aubrey "Wedding Stress Be Gone" Gibbs